Where did she go?

Hey everyone,
This is my blog. Mostly doing this for me. I really want to kick wine to the curb as it is taking WAY more than it is giving. Somewhere along the line I have lost myself and so much time to this habit. Time to get real and my hope it that this blog will be a cool way for me to journal my way out of this dark place and get back into the light. Hoping it will provide some accountability too! Life is too short and I want more than I am currently settling for. Right now I am on the morning of day 3. The mornings are easy. The relief at not being hung over and having that nasty chemical taste in my mouth is such a relief. I wake up and say “oh thank God I didn’t drink last night…” But around 5 pm and on – that is the witching hour for me. If I open wine – I lose the night. And the next day. No yoga. No reading. Not fully present. Sad. Sad. Sad. I sit in front of HGTV and vegetate. Until midnight at least. And then I spend the next day eating crap and desperately trying to recover. Enough. So I will use this method to journal and be accountable. I am brand new to this and realize that I am completely green to the world of blogging. So please – if you hate my blog – just quietly move on. I am fragile and simply looking for a new and fresh way to get back to the light….

4 thoughts on “Where did she go?”

  1. I just found your blog, how are you doing? I have been sober for 57 days. I too was a wine drinker as soon as I walked in the door. Drank all night and wanted to be left alone and I have a family too. Then the next day feel like crap and eat crap. My early morning workouts were based on my hangovers. The last year, eating drinking and minimum exercise. I gained 30 lbs. I finally said, I HAD ENOUGH! WE all can do this together!

    1. Hey momma bee – I am doing well. Tucked in bed at the all-inclusive. Another day has come to a close. I was feeling antsy so went to the gym and then swam laps. Felt much better by dinner. So for tonight I am thrilled to be alcohol free… I too throw all of my good eating and exercise habits out the window when doing wine. But really that is not who I am or who I want to be. I cannot drink and have the life I want or be the woman I want to be…

  2. Hey Sunshine I’ve just come across your blog I’m going to enjoy reading every one starting with your journey at the very beginning because that’s where I am. I’m 52 and in the morning of day 3 of living sober for 100 days to start. I’m single with no children, I only starting drinking wine a little more heavily in my late 30’s I rarely drank in my 20′ s and 30’s but as I grew older with more disappointments in people and life I found wine had become my new best friend. I stopped once before in around 2009 for about 8 months and then as I recall it wasn’t a complete giving it up but didn’t drink much at all in those 8 months…life has slipped off the tracks and I was trying to get a life of being grateful back. If Im honest life has sucked for about the few years and drinking getting progressively worse again ti where I’m drinking every other day or so and not buying small bottles of wine I’ve graduated to the 1.5 litre because the small bottle just wasn’t enough to drown in.

    Its Spring time now days are longer and I want to change and start living a happier life and I know I can’t do that if wine is involved at least for now and maybe forever I’ll cross that bridge after the 100 days. I want to get back to being able to appreciate all the good things in life and all the natural beauty I feel like I’ve been living in a fog for awhile now, want to join a hiking club, maybe take up running, and get back to my fitness oh how love how I feel after a good sweaty work out…
    Thats me in a nutshell

    1. Hey Diane! Nice to meet you. It is amazing how subtly wine takes over. Starts out being so fun, then necessary and for me in the end, terrifying. All the while the frequency and amount increasing too. Good for you for going after what you want in life and that having the life you want while drinking is not gonna happen. The early days can be tough but drinking too much was way tougher for me. I hike everyday with my dog, do some yoga and meditate. That is my current program but it has changed depending on what was going on. I wish you a great night sleep and an overwhelming sense of gratitude when you first wake up and realize you are NOT hungover. God I LOVE that feeling!

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