So I went to my party last night. I must admit that despite going for my short run (currently training for a half marathon) and to a relaxing yoga class, I was feeling full of angst before setting out to the party. I was a wee bit snappy to my husband as I prepared the appie we were to bring. I had a general feeling of, “I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go…” I used some advice I heard on the Bubble Hour about gratitude and turned my thoughts from I don’t wanna go, to I am grateful to be invited to go. I was skeptical of the advice (listen to the radio podcast at thebubblehour.com entitled “A Grateful Heart Never Relapses” – great advice for those trying to put the wine glass down) but it worked! I made sure I had my own special drinks and they were delicious! I also went to Starbucks before arriving so that I had a drink in my hand for the the first half and hour. This was a great idea because it took the initial pressure of “What can I get you to drink” off and gave me time to acclimatize by being able to say “I’ll get a drink when I finish my caffeine fix, thanks.” By the time that happened everyone was happily sipping their cocktails and I was left to make my mock-tail in peace without a ton of explaining and spotlight on what I was drinking.
I had a great time. I laughed really loud because that is what I do. When I am drinking and I laugh loudly, I worry that I appear drunk and so I am constantly trying to tone myself down. Or I go the other way with a “what the f#@k attitude and do make a fool of myself. It felt so freeing to simply be myself. I did not say anything I regret. Best of all I remember it all. Right before we were leaving I was chatting with one of my daughter’s friends about schooling. Her mom was very buzzed and trying to give her advice. I was chatting with her about her struggles in university and what classes she was taking. I could really feel her listening to me and the RELIEF I felt to not be hammered and dispensing drunken advice was palpable.
I love these people and I had a wonderful time. It feels so much better to be fully present in all conversations and really listen. Alcohol makes me sad, I play small, I want to hide. So grateful to be alcohol free today with my self-worth intact. Proud of who I was last night and that is never the case when drinking…
So for anyone looking for a fantastic “cocktail” option this holiday season, the following is truly delicious:
San Pellegrino over ice with a very healthy splash of cranberry cocktail. A squeeze of Mayers lemon and a couple of slices of fresh ginger. Oh my goodness the ginger added a spicy little kick to my old standby. Delicious, healthy, low calorie, and regret free!! HA HA!