Fake it till ya make it…

Just posting from the all-inclusive resort in Mexico this evening. It has been a very full travel day. We arrived to the lobby to check-in and were immediately offered champagne *sigh* I love(d) champagne although it was never my friend. Last time I drank it I doffed my clothes and swam naked in my pool with my one of my closest friends while a dinner party was going on inside my home. Ahhh but I digress… I was feeling very sorry for myself in the lobby thinking what the hell have I done picking an all-inclusive vacation to quit drinking??? I had a word with myself and reiterated that drinking was off the table and I had better move on to other thoughts such as what would make me feel better in that particular moment other than drinking a couple of bottles of champagne. Taking stock of the situation, a few crucial things became apparent: I was hungry, angry that I couldn’t drink, feeling lonely because it felt like I was the only one who couldn’t drink at the resort, and I was bone tired. Hmmmmmmm – I realized that spells HALT. And HALT spells trouble in the land of the newly sober. I told my husband that we needed to eat ASAP. He agreed. We got to our room quickly and decided to eat at the casual buffet so that we wouldn’t have to wait to be seated, wait to order, and then wait for food to cook and be delivered. As soon as I got some food in my tummy I began to feel better. I ordered sparkling water with lime and when it arrived in the pop glass I immediately poured it into the wine glass to feel like I was part of the grown-up crowd. Then I looked around and forced myself to look for things to be grateful for. As I watched others drink their wines and Coronas, I must admit that I had to force myself to fake gratitude. But only for a few minutes. I made very healthy dinner choices. I enjoyed samples of many different kinds of desserts and revelled in the experience. No guilt allowed. This was clearly no time to think about calories or the bikini I would be wearing in the morning. It was my treat for making it through the airport, the transit ride to the resort, the lobby, and dinner, all while being offered drinks at every turn and refusing every single one.

We have a beautiful room with a pool literally right out on our veranda so I returned to the room and floated in the pool for about an hour meditating and relaxing. It was lovely. I am now tucked into bed with a full thermos of tea and sparkling water. Our plan is to get up at sunrise and make the most of the days. The sun sets very early. So my husband wants us up early and to bed early which suits me just fine. He upgraded our room so that I would have easy access to the internet. He is being very supportive which is something I am very grateful for. I want to swim laps tomorrow morning rain or shine. If it is raining I will make use of the gym too. With the upgrade we also have sauna and hot tub privileges at the spa so all in all things are going to be just fine. Taking things moment by moment and as someone told me on the Women for Sobriety website, “The only drink I can’t have is the first one…” Excellent advice.

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