Triggered and Making a Plan

So we meet our friends from out of town up at the ski hill tonight. The urge to drink was pretty strong last night. Presently, it is gone. I need a plan. I need to remember what it is that I want out of life. Depression, anger, regret, shame, hangovers, mental fogginess, poor example to my kids and those around me? Or do I want to be all that I was born to be? Healthy, fit, clear-minded, calm, peaceful, well, excellent example to my children, present for those around me? When I look at my life priorities, to be fit, to be peaceful, to be creative, to be present for family and friends – drinking wine will take down every single one of my life goals. It does not fit in my life anymore. It does not work for me. Like a toxic relationship or situation, I need to leave it behind. It hurts and hinders me. There is no upside. THERE IS NO UPSIDE. I will be drinking daily so fast my head will spin. Spending mornings recovering in bed. Trying to pull my thinking together to meet with students – NO THANKS. What would a yoga instructor do? (I recently signed up for instructor training – so excited as that fits exactly with who I want to become and how I want to live)… Put down the wine glass and pick up the herbal tea. Vanilla Honeybush – yummiest cup of tea I had the other day at my favourite cafe. So I will go grab some of that today, make sure that I have mineral water and some cranberry juice. Take my vitamins, knitting, reading, and go enjoy my weekend. End of story. Perhaps I will listen to the Bubble Hour on the ride up to the ski hill as well. This is my plan being formulated. When becoming a permanent non-drinker, we cannot afford to head into tough situations with a “take it as it happens” attitude. We need to visualize the night – possible minefields and how we will handle them. I will make sure that I have taken care of HALT – hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness. Cover the basics and make it until 10:00 – we will likely be up for first-tracks so that will be a respectable time to head to bed. Perhaps yoga before we leave… Weekend, here I come, sober and staying that way.

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