I have found so many awesome blogs to help me in my sobriety quest. I am going to try and make some cyber contact with others who have travelled this road and experienced success. I am really determined to do this and make it stick. I have also signed up for the 100 Day Challenge to see if that can help me train some sober muscles. Drinking has been ruined for me. It is not the same. I fall into a depression very quickly now and the hangovers swift and intense. I lose all interest in my passions: yoga, reading, tea sipping, walking my dog. All I do is sit and drink and become either falsely cheerful or depressively maudlin. Fun times.
There is relief when I put the glass down but how to make sure it stays down. That is what I need to learn. Lots of women live with partners who continue to drink so I do not need to die on that excuse of a mountain. Some kind of a support group of sober friends is what I need – I just cannot go back to the church basements listening to the darkest, most embarrassing stories retold over and over. But it might be that I have to return. After all that is how I achieved my longest sober stint – aside from my three pregnancies. I will hopefully use this as a journal with an authentic audience even though I know that not many will read it. Mrs. D (another FANTASTIC sober blogger) did exactly that and I want what she has, so I will try daily blogging to process my thoughts.
Mostly I need a plan for when I am lonely or have been working hard and want to “reward” myself. But most importantly as I said in my last post – I will never give up. The chick with the purple teeth making an ass of herself and forgetting conversations is not me anymore. I am so inspired by the strong bloggers I have spent the entire day reading. And I know that if they can do this – I can too.