Living in the now…

For right now I am at peace. That is not always the case so I will relish in this for right now. Living in the now. If you had asked me before if I lived in the now I would have told you absolutely, but I would have been wrong. But this has been a useful discovery for my recovery. Whenever I think I cannot go another step without a glass of merlot in my hand I stop and retrace my thinking steps and inevitably I have been living in the future or experiencing a very skewed memory of the past where the glass of wine was lovely and did not wreak havoc on my soul. Rare moments and I think that my memory full-on lies to me. It only brings to the surface the good times when I am jones ing for a drink.
I have come through another weekend in the city sans alcohol. Yesterday I even attended the “Italian Days” on Commercial Drive in Vancouver which was a very cool event with lots of opportunities to drink. And I didn’t. And I lived. And I even had a pretty damn good time thanks very much.
I am home now and so thankful for my little spot in the country – I know I am getting old when the sound of birds and quiet are what really makes my heart full. This morning I also received information in my email about my upcoming Yoga Teacher Training. I signed up for this when I was trying to get and stay sober on my own. I thought if I could make green smoothies, run, meditate and do yoga daily that would be my sobriety program. I was wrong. I needed other people and their experience, strength, and hope to help me get and stay sober. Tough blow to my enormous ego but whatever – what can I do about it. We are wired to need each other and despite my thinking that I am different, I am not. So now I have this yoga training coming up and the biggest thing I want to take away from it is how to meditate. My goal for this summer is to make meditation a part of my daily life. Because meditation, yoga practice, and most importantly sobriety all require on major component and that is living in the now… Moment by moment, hour by hour, one day at a time. Fully experiencing all that life has for me right now. Not yesterday and not tomorrow but right now. And when the craving or thoughts strike that a drink would be a great plan, I come back to the present moment and I say to my thoughts – not right this moment though – not today. I don’t need a glass of wine today. Think about it another time… And it calms me down and gets me through. Living in the now…

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6 thoughts on “Living in the now…”

  1. I love that.
    I had similar sober thoughts. I am taking yoga teacher training later this summer. Lol. Are all yogis recovering wine drinkers?

    There is an amazing meditation site/app called Headspace. It’s worth looking at.

    Thanks for offering a perspective on HOW to know you are in the now.

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