So last January I signed up for a yoga teacher training course and on many levels I wasn’t sure why. I only knew that I desperately wanted to stay stopped with respect to my wine habit and I thought this might help me see that goal come to fruition. The registration was not cheap. But I knew that somewhere in my heart of hearts this was something that I wanted to pursue. Imagine how disappointed I was when roughly six weeks later I picked up again during a trip to Vegas. I know, I know – visiting Vegas while seeking sobriety was not the best plan I have ever come up with. I was distraught at the non-refundable money I had spent but more than that it felt that a dream of a different kind of life was dying an unnecessary death due to my relentless addiction. I was so very sad. For me, yoga and alcoholic drinking simply do not co-exist. I had really wanted sobriety and to embark on a new learning, a new passion, a healthy goal and I just could not stay stopped.
Fast forward to today. I am on day six of the first of two nine day intensives – 13.5 hours per day in order to become certified. But even better than that, on Tuesday I picked up my three month chip. I am grateful beyond measure.
What blows my mind is how much of what I am learning in this course is about going inward and reflecting on where I am in my life and what dragons do I need to slay in order to life the best expression of myself that I possibly can. We are looking at what we do to avoid discomfort in our lives. We are talking about what events in our lives have left scars and how we ease the pain of those scars. We have looked at what it means to live a truthful and authentic life no matter what other people might think. We have asked ourselves what it is in our lives that is holding us back. Between my recovery meetings and this training I feel a major shift or transformation happening. It is not entirely comfortable or easy but I am up for the task. So much of what I am learning has been reinforced at my meetings – coincidence???? I think not.
So that is where things are – the obsession to drink myself senseless has left and the timing is divine. I did not know where I would be at in January when I stepped out in faith and signed up for this training. But what timing…