Holding out my hand…

So I just returned from meeting with a woman who is desperately trying to stay on this sober path. And here is the new thing for me: I am her sponsor!?! I don’t like the title and way prefer “coach” or “sober sister” or “friend” or __________ but for clarity that is what I am to her. But here is what blows my mind – she helps me more than I help her. My job is to listen long enough and to hold the space for her so that she can come to her own conclusions about what the next right action is for her. I don’t have to give advice, or direction, or orders… I only offer what has worked for me. We get together and talk – mostly she talks and I listen. And, somehow the next right thing becomes very obvious. It is not up to me or my ego. My expertise is not needed, thank GOD. Somewhere in the listening, through the honesty, through the tears, through the sharing, through the connection of shared pain and the “me toos” help shows up. For her AND for me. And when I head home the world seems brighter, more vibrant, and my sobriety so much more precious to me because I have something to give away. Something that was freely given to me by others who were a little further down this path than I. And now, if I am willing, I can hold out my hand for this precious woman. I don’t know how this works but in my program I am told that I can keep my own sobriety alive and well by giving it away to other alcoholics who still suffer. And to that my mind always said “Huh??? – what the f@#k does that mean?” But I just trust that this will work. I am done trying to figure it all out intellectually – that got me nowhere except to the land of relapse and regret. If it works for others and for my own sponsor than it will work for me. End of story. And low and behold it does. And for those that did that for me, thank you. I will show you my gratitude by being willing and honoured to pass it on to those still out there… What an amazing life this is ❤


Published by: shineshine100

I am a 50 year old woman who is trying to live her best one and only life by putting down the wine glass and moving forward. I am a wife. I am a mom of three university aged kids. I am an educator. When not wasting time sipping poison I love to hike, garden, paddleboard, read, ski, cook, and do yoga.

Categories Uncategorized13 Comments

13 thoughts on “Holding out my hand…”

  1. That’s lovely, and I find it really inspiring. I’m new at going to meetings, so it’s wonderful to hear how well things can go. Kudos to you for helping and for seeing that doing so helps you, too! xo

    1. Good for you for taking the brave step of going to meetings. That was so very tough for me but so very worthwhile. I have met some wonderful people in the rooms and some challenging ones too 🙂 but if my heart is willing I learn from them all! Thanks for your kind words…

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