Sober Summer – So Much Better

I have missed the process of writing a post. I tell myself I don’t have time but really I have not made time. For the most part I am doing very, very well. Summer has flown by. My second one sober. I love that. I hosted a huge, boozy event recently that has taken months to plan and prep for. It was a success. I allowed myself to have a few moments of tears before guests arrived to feel the sensation of feeling somewhat “left out” as the kegs started to flow and I knew that I would not be participating in the boozy revelling that would be taking place that evening. And then I moved on because my highest self absolutely wants nothing to do with that mess. My best self knows that what I truly wanted most was to be simply PRESENT for our family and friends that were gathering to celebrate with us. My best self knows  that I did not want to be obsessing about: how much can I drink without appearing drunk, when can I start, will there be enough, do I appear drunk, was my laugh too loud, did I say something I regret, did I get emotional, weepy, angry and on and on and on. Oh my GOD – the whole drinking thing is waaaaaay too much work. And when the caterers needed supplies, guess who could jump into her car and fix the problem? And when the young people needed a ride downtown to go out to the clubs, guess who drove? And when friends came late, guess who could still hold an engaging conversation? I walked around and took it all in. I danced. I smoked a cigar. I laughed my head off – and did not give a hoot how loud I was. And when it got late and people started to repeat themselves, and got messy – I began to clean up while giving myself some classy pats on the back. “Way to go girl!!! This is how you want to remember the evening and more importantly, how you want to be remembered by your loved ones…” There were a few moments where I looked into a friends’ eyes and recognized that they are no longer home because they were hammered. That vacant look served as a stark reminder of what my soul hated most about my drinking: that I repeatedly chose to check out and miss out of another amazing moment of my life. That I would choose to drink way too much alcohol over simply “being” with these people. So many moments lost forever and for what??! This evening was one to be treasured, remembered, and truly shared with those I love, not cheapened by too much soul killing wine till I am not even there anymore… So grateful to be sober. So proud of that woman and I will remember that night for the rest of my days. Thank you God. Sobriety ROCKS!

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Published by: shineshine100

I am a 47 year old woman who is trying to live her best one and only life by putting down the wine glass and moving forward. I am a wife. I am a mom of three teens. I am a teacher. When not wasting time sipping poison I love to hike, bike, read, ski, cook, and do yoga.

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