I am coming up on 17 months alcohol free. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my life sans wine and I have no idea where I found the time and energy to drink. Too much to do. Busy living and being. I have heard many times that “…the second year is where the work really begins…” For me, this has meant working through my growing intolerance to spending my time around alcohol focussed events. It seems that I have developed an aversion to being around it at all. Period. Just want nothing to do with environments and/or people who have alcohol as the main focus. I don’t get it anymore. Oh, the irony is not lost on me either as a mere 17 months ago I would not have even considered attended any function unless booze was being served.
I am tired of weekends away, holidays, events, family gatherings, hiking, golfing, biking, camping, visiting – you name it – being so very alcohol-centric. I am so weary and so wary. My sponsor assures me that this is normal stuff for year two. I find myself surprised at the current depth of aversion to all things alcohol. When I am in its midst I feel a disgruntled sigh rise up from deep within me and my thought is, “Awww not you again, ya bastard… What are you doing here – we don’t need you so bugger off…” And the thought is spoken in an aussie accent for some strange reason.
Of course, I know it is not possible for me to live my life completely away from the pervasive drink culture but I notice I am saying “no thanks” to waaaay more these days. I want it different. I want a hike to be about a hike and not about the six pack hauled up the mountain to “celebrate” each break on a stunning walk that needs nothing else to complete it except maybe a “WOW – that is amazing…” Can it not wait until the walk is over? Or am I hiking with the wrong people these days?
I am tired of all of my holidays being surrounded by drinkers and yes I love these drinkers dearly, but enough already. And they drink daily. I refuse to take calls from loved ones who I know have been drinking and even gone so far as to temporarily block numbers to avoid their slurring, idiotic attempts at communication. Blech! I was so much more tolerant of drunken fools last year – what happened?
If people only knew how much a couple of drinks dims their vibrancy, dulls their words, and darkens the light within them. I get sad watching intelligent people I adore trash themselves in the name of “fun.” TTYL. I find I am opting for coffee out in the morning when I want to socialize these days. I am also looking around for a vacation that is NOT alcohol focussed. Not an easy task folks. But I will find one – and I will go on my own if necessary. Because in my world alcohol adds value to NOTHING… That’s my rant – thanks for listening… Now I will go live a vibrant and meaningful day – stone cold sober – just the way I like it…