Year Two – Hiccups Without the Belly Full of Booze

I am coming up on 17 months alcohol free. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my life sans wine and I have no idea where I found the time and energy to drink. Too much to do. Busy living and being. I have heard many times that “…the second year is where the work really begins…” For me, this has meant working through my growing intolerance to spending my time around alcohol focussed events. It seems that I have developed an aversion to being around it at all. Period. Just want nothing to do with environments and/or people who have alcohol as the main focus. I don’t get it anymore. Oh, the irony is not lost on me either as a mere 17 months ago I would not have even considered attended any function unless booze was being served.

I am tired of weekends away, holidays, events, family gatherings, hiking, golfing, biking, camping, visiting – you name it – being so very alcohol-centric. I am so weary and so wary. My sponsor assures me that this is normal stuff for year two. I find myself surprised at the current depth of aversion to all things alcohol. When I am in its midst I feel a disgruntled sigh rise up from deep within me and my thought is, “Awww not you again, ya bastard… What are you doing here – we don’t need you so bugger off…” And the thought is spoken in an aussie accent for some strange reason.

Of course, I know it is not possible for me to live my life completely away from the pervasive drink culture but I notice I am saying “no thanks” to waaaay more these days. I want it different. I want a hike to be about a hike and not about the six pack hauled up the mountain to “celebrate” each break on a stunning walk that needs nothing else to complete it except maybe a “WOW – that is amazing…” Can it not wait until the walk is over? Or am I hiking with the wrong people these days?

I am tired of all of my holidays being surrounded by drinkers and yes I love these drinkers dearly, but enough already. And they drink daily. I refuse to take calls from loved ones who I know have been drinking and even gone so far as to temporarily block numbers to avoid their slurring, idiotic attempts at communication. Blech! I was so much more tolerant of drunken fools last year – what happened?

If people only knew how much a couple of drinks dims their vibrancy, dulls their words, and darkens the light within them. I get sad watching intelligent people I adore trash themselves in the name of “fun.” TTYL. I find I am opting for coffee out in the morning when I want to socialize these days. I am also looking around for a vacation that is NOT alcohol focussed. Not an easy task folks. But I will find one – and I will go on my own if necessary. Because in my world alcohol adds value to NOTHING… That’s my rant – thanks for listening… Now I will go live a vibrant and meaningful day – stone cold sober – just the way I like it…

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Published by: shineshine100

I am a 47 year old woman who is trying to live her best one and only life by putting down the wine glass and moving forward. I am a wife. I am a mom of three teens. I am a teacher. When not wasting time sipping poison I love to hike, bike, read, ski, cook, and do yoga.

Categories Uncategorized10 Comments

10 thoughts on “Year Two – Hiccups Without the Belly Full of Booze”

  1. I feel like that is the reason that has stalled my sobriety for so many years!! It’s the expectations of others for me to partake if I wanted to be involved. It’s sad really. When I was sober in 2014 for 7 months I actually had a “friend” not invite me to a couple get together’s at her house because I was not drinking.

    I like the way you think. I am also tired of those environments.

    I just found your blog and grateful I did – you are very inspiring 🙂
    Thank you!

    1. That is tough when we are excluded because of our drinking status. What I have found in my sobriety is that there is some truth in who are actually my friends and who are “fair-weather” friends. I also found that whether I meant to or not, my quitting held a mirror to those around me regarding their own drinking. And when I was at my worst, I really felt bad around the folks who did not drink. That is likely what happened with my *friends* who were made uncomfortable by my choice not to drink.Sadly, that has included people in my own family who do not want to hang out with me as much anymore… But in my sobriety, I have built a network of friends who want to be around me no matter what: drinking or not. Actually many of my friends now prefer me not to drink… Takes time to build that but pretty cool. Thanks for reading my blog and connecting with me and I wish you the very best in your quest for a better life sans alcohol. I never dreamed it could be so awesome!

  2. I just got back today from an extended family vacation, and I very strongly relate to this post. We all go rent a house on the beach annually…but I really don’t think I will ever go on another family vacation again. I am just so over living an alcohol-centered life. I just watch and it and it seems like such a waste to me. I am so glad I am out of that sad trap and obsession. At the same time, I am saddened by the idea that I’ll be opting out of a family tradition. I’m not sure how I’ll work it out- maybe send the husband, who would still want to go, and keep my young child at home? I have a year to figure it out but I am not going back, stuck with drunk people every day/night. Nope. If you find a way to exist with it, please email me!

    1. I definitely will. A very wise friend of mine has suggested that I attend some Alanon meetings to learn new ways of thinking and handling the people in my life whose drinking is now irritating me. I am looking for a meeting…

  3. Ooh, that is a good idea!! An Alanon member came to speak at a recent meeting. It was suggested that people should stay in their main program for the 1st year…and I’m coming up on that milestone (God willing!!) in another 70 days or so. I need to find some balance though because even though I am not drinking, living in an environment where important people remain alcohol-centered….it’s just not working for me. I really struggle finding serenity, I feel angry and view alcohol as a very unwelcome item in my life. My husband continues to drink regularly so it definitely causes issues for me. Maybe I need to get to Alanon sooner rather than later!

    1. Yeah – I am in a very similar situation and the tolerance for others’ drinking seems to have disappeared so I am hoping to find a few new tools to use other than pouting and getting snappy. Hahaha…

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