Not Done Yet…

I am sad to report that my cousin left treatment early. She had a number of excuses why. Not a single reason. She was drinking before her dad picked her up from the airport. Her girls are devastated. She has spent a night in emergency because of a fall that was likely caused by a seizure. She walked away from the hospital only to get drunk all over again and this time wind up in the drunk tank. When she sobered up, they let her out and she spent the night at the women’s shelter. Her partner found her sitting in the back yard with a black eye the next morning. And she still refuses to go back to treatment. It is insanity. It is devastating. This is chronic, acute, hopeless alcoholism. There is not a thing anyone around her can do until she surrenders. I am baffled. To choose this over recovery must be a terrifying place to be. I have been on a roller coaster of emotion and my people in recovery have been with me – checking in and helping me to process this. And challenging me to step back until she is ready. I have taken the advice to protect my own precious sobriety. That is the gift in this pit of despair: I am so damn grateful for my sobriety. I want it for her. But she has to want it for herself. So for now, I am taking the wise advice and I am stepping back. She knows my number when she is done. Protect your sobriety with all of your heart and soul because the alternative is terrifying…