Words Rattling Around

I changed my “sankalpa” or intention to strengthen my sober resolve while travelling to “I am excited and grateful to be a sober traveler…” It is working. It is the mantra I use when we are about to order our beverages. When I am sitting in meditation, I begin and end with those words. When I wake up each morning, bright eyed and excited for the day, I consciously call forward those words. I don’t know which of my many practices (HALT, yoga, meditation, healthy food, journaling, sound sleep etc) helps me stay sober the most – probably a combination of all – but as I was riding a chicken bus in Nicaragua the following thought crystallized from nowhere: the most respectful thing I have ever done for myself was to stop drinking… And a profound sense of gratitude and pride washed over me. And this thought has washed up on the shores of my conscious thoughts over and over ever since without me having to summon it the way I do with my sankalpa. And each time I experience this thought, it is pure joy. A gift. I think this is the product of my brain re-wiring itself. I never will understand how this thought came to be. There are times in my life when I hear something or read something and it resonates so deeply as truth that the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. And so it is with this precious thought. The most respectful thing I have ever done for myself was to stop drinking…

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Published by: shineshine100

I am a 47 year old woman who is trying to live her best one and only life by putting down the wine glass and moving forward. I am a wife. I am a mom of three teens. I am a teacher. When not wasting time sipping poison I love to hike, bike, read, ski, cook, and do yoga.

Categories Uncategorized14 Comments

14 thoughts on “Words Rattling Around”

  1. That is awesome. I love to hear the way you feel about your sobriety. I am taking s trip to mexico soon and I think, if I may, I should borrow your mantra! One of the things I’ve been thinking is that if I drink on this vacation, it will ruin what is supposed to be a relaxing and rejuvenating time. thanks for the tip 🙂

    1. Absolutely take my mantra and make it your own. I know for sure that alcohol diminishes the “holiday” experience on every level. I have done Mexico both drunk and sober – no comparison – not even in the same league. Enjoy your sober cation and make the most of your holiday dollars. One thing I did was got up super early to fully enjoy the sunrise, coffee drinking, beach wandering moments. That way when the evening revelling begins I am ready to call it a night with a great book and a hot thermos of my favourite tea (both brought from home as the tea is somewhat underwhelming down there). I felt great ending the day in my favourite way and felt amazing in the morning…

      1. Good reminder to bring tea!! I am looking forward to waking up refreshed, early and long walks, time to write, meditate, eat healthy etc.
        cheers!

  2. Hi. I love your focus on the positive and the possible. Personally I also find the strength of a a good yoga practice and the love of a husband and a dog to give me strength. I do use alcohol sometimes to de stress although I am not not a fellow traveller on your journey a lt of strength is required. As I am an atheist Anne an agnostic, i do wonder how 12 steps would work if I needed that?

    1. The 12 Steps allow you to define “higher power” however fits you best. Many use the power of the group and what is shared. Others use the power of their best self – the one that does not want to be the drunk one at the party or the hung-over sick person the next day – they begin to follow that voice rather than the party voice that led them astray… Others use the power of nature as found in a breathtaking sunrise…

  3. 25 years ago I quit smoking. I cannot say how many times, ” that is the most respectful thing I have done for myself”. Now I am in the precipice (once again) of upping the ante on being able to say, “sober is the clarity I need for my life”
    My husband is drinking his nightly martini. I am reading your blog…. Gritting my teeth of day #3 without drinking my first of many glasses of Chardonnay.

    1. I have never regretted an evening spent sober but I have regretted so many evenings when I started with “one” glass of wine. You can do this and I have never been more clear in my thinking than these past two years…

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